99.

It was so easy to be angry about everything when I was young

I felt like I had a cause

When there was nothing I really cared about

Because there was nothing I fully understood

And so nothing that could make me cynical.

It was so easy to be romantic when I was young

Every verse and song and image had beauty

Because everything felt like it was only for me

And my heart bled words I thought always to be immortal

And so nothing made me question.

It was so easy to be hopeful when I was young

Every day was new and endless

And life was mine to waste in immortality

I was untouchable and unfazed

The next day would bring promises that the last day had broken

And so nothing made me tired.

It was so easy to be lost when I was young

Every road led nowhere drifting aimlessly to dead ends

I had scattered dreams, dissolved in apathy

Promised we’re futile because meanings meant nothing

And so nothing meant anything.

It was so easy to be bitter when I was young

When nothing belonged to me and nothing was mine to fault

When I had no platform and no stage to sing from

My words went unheeded, unheard and unwanted

And so nothing I said mattered.

It was so easy to want more when I was young

When nothing was enough and everything was out of reach

When I envied and coveted all around me believing in a future I hoped was owed

Resenting what was in waking and dreaming of something else

Nothing left me satisfied

And so nothing was the end.

It was so easy.

And then it wasn’t.

And I look back now, at times I was young,

At times when I had an unknown world to explore.

Times when I had seemingly unending time.

The clock never moved forward

A stasis that left me feeling invincible…

And now I just feel invisible.

Because when I was young was when as in past,

And I’m forced to accept that youth never lasts,

It fades and it dies and it’s gone, lost in a broken reflection of who I am.

And so I wish I hadn’t wasted who I was.

This time is not infinite

This chance is not forever

These clouds won’t gather for eternity and the sun won’t always shine.

And is infinite. Next is perpetual.

And you only have tomorrow because now has already gone.

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